All publications of Silas Otieno . Nairobi , Kenya
18 Ingenious Ways To Catch A Cheating Partner In The Act!
Does your instinct tell you your lover is cheating on you? Use these 18 discreet ways on how to catch a cheating partner to catch them red handed!
Is your partner cheating on you?
There are just two ways to get the nagging worry out of your head. One, you talk about it with your lover and get a convincing answer from them. Or secondly, you sneak around discreetly and try to get some proof of your partner’s philandering ways *if any*.
If you feel insecure in a relationship, always talk to your partner and tell them what you feel. Sometimes, it may just be a silly misunderstanding. And communication always helps sort things out, even if one of you is on the verge of looking out for an affair. But if your doubts don’t get erased even after the conversation, then perhaps, the only way to get the real answers is by snooping around and looking for clues when your partner is too busy doing their own thing.
18 ingenious ways to catch a cheating partner
Confronting a serial cheater or a guiltless cheater never helps, because no matter how much you cry or remind them how much you love them, they’re just too selfish to think about anyone but themselves. So instead of confronting your lover every night, take it easy and let your partner assume that all is well and forgotten.
After all, you can’t catch a cheating lover when they’re being cautious and on guard. Just pretend like everything’s normal and watch how your partner behaves around you over the next few weeks.
Once your partner thinks you don’t suspect them anymore, use these 18 signs and ways to catch a cheating partner to catch your lover in the act!
#1 Watch the signs.
Do you see a change in your partner’s behavior recently? Have they started working out, dressing better, or started using a new seductive intense evening perfume? They may have no reason for the changes, and almost always, these changes may seem very spontaneous.
#2 Drop by unannounced.
Every now and then, drop by unannounced to their workplace or come back home early. Don’t make it obvious that you’re just spying on them. Instead, always have a great excuse to walk in unannounced. If your partner is cheating on you, the first thing they’d do *instead of welcoming you with a smile* is hide something or appear surprised or even angry!
#3 Check their recycle bin.
The garbage is a great place to dispose of things. And sometimes, it also has a lot of clues. If your partner is on the computer often, check the computer’s recycle bin often. Chances are, there may be another person’s photo or a little snippet of information that could be of some use.
#4 Snoop on their phone.
Does your partner carry their cell phone with them wherever they go, even if it’s a trip to the loo? If that’s happening in your relationship, there’s a good chance your partner’s up to something. Take a peek into their cell phone when you get the chance, especially when they’ve put the phone on charge.
Erased phone logs, a password protected phone, several calls to the same unknown numbers, or phone bills without detailed call information are all good signs that your partner is trying to hide something.
#5 Spontaneous sex.
This works better if you’re a girl, and dating a guy. If your boyfriend or husband comes home late from any unexpected delay, try to have spontaneous sex with them when they get back home. If your guy gets angry, pushes you away or tries avoiding it at all costs, chances are, he may be exhausted down there. He could always wash himself up before getting home, but getting it up immediately and blowing a huge load, that’s not the easiest thing to do!
#6 Follow after a fight.
Most cheating partners intentionally try to pick fights, slam the door and walk away, because it makes a great excuse to slip out of the house and meet their adulterous lover. If your partner’s been picking fights and walking out of the house often recently, try to follow them on the pretense of apologizing *if they see you following them*.
#7 Change your sleeping habits.
If your partner’s cheating on you, their sleeping habits may change almost overnight. They may stay up longer using the excuse of work, or you may catch them sneaking around the house late at night. Pretend like you’re asleep as soon as you hit the bed, and try to see if your partner’s up to something. Do they get out of bed for long periods of time?
And it’s not just late nights you need to think about. Some cheating partners may even wake up really early and get on the phone, especially if they realize you suspect them.
#8 Does your partner want space?
Space is something all of us need in a relationship, whether we accept it or not. But has your partner started getting fiercely protective about their space recently? Do they hate answering questions about where they’ve been or what they’ve been up to? It’s definitely a small warning sign.
#9 They get jumpy.
Try walking in on your partner when they least expect it without announcing yourself, especially if they’ve been by themselves for a while. Does your partner act jumpy or nervous when you walk in on them, especially if they’re over the phone or in front of their computer? They were probably doing something and they don’t want you to know what it was.
#10 Changes in schedule.
All of a sudden, your partner may stay out a lot of nights on work, or have a lot of get-togethers on their social calendar with their friends. If your partner doesn’t ever invite you with their friends, or if they claim to be very busy working and still look fresh and happy when they get home, your partner’s probably up to something.
#11 The phone etiquette.
Your partner suddenly needs a lot of space while talking over the phone. They either sound awkward or they walk away from you to the next room while talking over the phone with a few people. You may even find text messages from random numbers with random texts in them.
Remember, when people cheat, they could always store the other lover’s number under another name, and use code words to interact with each other when they miss each other!
Your partner has changed most of their passwords, even if you thought you knew all of them. And even when you ask them for the new password, they make an excuse to hide it from you. And sometimes, you may see that they position their computer facing away from you, and they would never do that before.
#13 Grooming habits.
Hitting the gym, wearing new clothes and perfume are all signs your partner wants to look better. But are they going overboard with their appearances? Has your partner started grooming themselves down there meticulously all of a sudden, even though they aren’t keen on doing something with you?
#14 Sneaking away.
Does your partner sneak out of the house every now and then, using the silliest of excuses? “I’m driving down to the store to get something…” “My friends are catching up around the corner…” “I’m bored, I’m going for a drive…” or something along those lines?
That’s alright though. But when you offer to tag along, what does your partner say? Do they make an excuse to go alone? That’s fishy, don’t you think?
4 shady and sneaky unethical ways to catch a cheating lover
Now the earlier 14 signs would definitely help you find out if your partner’s cheating on you with someone else. But if you want to nail them, you’re going to have to catch them in the act. And there’s no way you can do that unless you walk in on your partner with the person they’re cheating on you with. But if you do choose to go spy-mode and use a few unethical ways, here are four ways to nail your partner’s cheating backside in no time.
But try these ways only if you’re already certain your partner’s cheating on you. These steps are great to catch them, but if they aren’t cheating on you and it was just a false alarm, your partner may feel extremely hurt by your actions!
#15 Hidden cameras.
Place a spycam in the room where your partner hangs out most often when they want alone time. If they’re over the phone or doing some funny business behind your back, you’ll know soon enough.
#16 Create a fake profile.
Create a fake profile and log on to websites that promote cheating spouses and see if your partner’s using one of them. Or for starters, just create a fake facebook profile and add a lot of random friends to make your account seem legitimate.
And then, send an invite to your partner and get friendly with them. And over a few days or weeks, start flirting with them and see how they respond to you. Are they interested in meeting up or hooking up?
Keyloggers are software that you can download off the net *some free and some for a price*. Some of these keyloggers, especially the paid versions, can be installed in a computer and the person using it would never know it’s running in the background.
These programs can record whatever you want, the passwords they use, the letters they type, the pages they visit, or even record a video of the screen as they use the computer. You can also download a few paid apps over your phone and install a secret app in your partner’s phone to keep track of their calls too.
#18 GPS device.
Are you the one who wants to catch your partner red handed? Then the stalker mode may work for you! Pick up a tiny GPS device that can be fixed to the underside of your partner’s car. You can track their movements and pounce on them when their pants are around their ankles in a sleazy motel out of town!
Use these 18 ways on how to catch a cheating partner, and there’s no way a cheater can get away with their adulterous ways. But remember, don’t use the last four ways unless you’re certain your partner’s cheating on you already and you just want to confront them in the act!
Serial Cheater: 14 Signs You're Dating Someone Who Is & Loves Cheating.
The phrase once a cheater, always a cheater originated from a serial cheater. Not everyone who cheats will do it again, but most of them certainly will.
If you cheat once, that doesn’t mean you’ll cheat again. However, serial cheaters are a whole different story. Cheating is their middle name. They’re addicted to jumping from one relationship to another or just simply constantly cheating on their partners.
Listen, I’m an advocate for sexual freedom, but not when it hurts another person. If you want to fuck around with everyone, cool, just be single while doing it.
Serial cheater alert – How to know you’re in a relationship with one
Unless you’ve talked about being in an open relationship, most people will not be down with the idea of their partner sleeping with other people.
If you’ve gotten yourself into a relationship with a Casanova-type character, not only should you get an STI test, but you should also get yourself out of that relationship. But how do you even know you’re dating a serial cheater?
Once you know the signs, it’ll be easy to spot them.
#1 They’ve cheated before.
Okay, I know I said just because someone cheats it doesn’t mean they’ll do it again, which is true. However, it does increase the odds of them doing it again.
Yeah, I know, I didn’t mean to calm you down and then make you freak out again. You need to do some digging and find out how many relationships your partner’s been in and why they didn’t work out. That’s how you’ll find the truth.
#2 They fear intimacy.
Maybe when you two have sex, they only like doggy style. Now, that’s not a bad thing, but it is when you want to have an intimate experience.
If they’re avoiding intimate sexual positions and moments with you, it’s because they’re scared of opening up and becoming vulnerable to you. This also means that they’ll develop feelings and then that kind of creates a hole in their plan of fucking whoever they want.
#3 They have many friends of the opposite sex.
Listen, I have many friends who are men, it doesn’t necessarily mean I’m a serial cheater. Okay, maybe it does, but let’s move on. If your partner is hanging out mostly with people of the opposite sex, well, there’s usually a reason.
#4 They haven’t committed to you. I
f you two have been “together” for a while but they’re not willing to commit, it’s because they don’t want to. It’s really that simple. They don’t want to be taken off the market because they’re still looking around.
#5 You don’t really know much about them.
You know them but you don’t really know them. You two haven’t actually had a deep conversation about anything. Maybe you mentioned your traumatizing childhood, but, your partner hasn’t whispered a word.
#6 They like taking risks.
A serial cheater loves to take risks. I mean, isn’t cheating behind your partner’s back a risk? Of course, it is. Taking risk is thrilling… it’s living on the edge. So, if your partner is known as a bit of an adrenaline junkie, then be cautious.
#7 You two don’t fight.
No one likes to fight, but it’s actually crucial in a relationship. People disagree, it’s normal. And when you fight, it brings the relationship closer together. If you and your partner aren’t fighting, or if they’re not responding to your concerns, it shows that they don’t actually care.
#8 Their habits change.
If all of a sudden their regular daily habits and routines changes, you should be suspicious. If you’re not sure about any of the other signs on this list, pay attention to this one.
People’s actions always expose the truth. And though they may be hiding what they’re doing to you, you’ll be able to notice with what they’ve stopped doing.
#9 Your sex life isn’t what it used to be.
The sex you used to have with your partner was sensual, hot, and passionate. Now, it’s dry and dull. What a switch, right? Well, that’s not because they’ve lost their libido. It’s because they’re being hot and sensual with someone else. Things like this just don’t switch without reason.
#10 It’s all about gift-giving.
Getting a surprise gift every now and then is great. However, those gifts can be given just to mask what they’ve been doing behind your back. If your partner is loading you up with gifts all the time, it’s probably because they’re feeling guilty.
#11 The apology lacks an apology.
If you catch them cheating on you, they’ll most likely apologize. However, apologizing is easy. What’s hard is when it’s genuine. You need to look at the substance within the apology. Did you partner just say, “sorry” and walk away? Yeah, they don’t actually give a shit.
#12 “Work” becomes a priority.
Ah yes, the classic “I have to stay at the office a little longer tonight” routine. I don’t care if you’re a man or woman, please, do not fall for this shit. Okay, there are some people that do actually have to stay at the office longer than expected, but for many people, it’s an excuse. If all of a sudden their job replaces you, well, it’s not work that they’re doing.
#13 They love the chase.
Do you remember what it was like before you two were dating? The cat and mouse game that you both played? Maybe you played a hard game and your partner loved it. But now that they have you, it’s a different story. Now, the thrill is gone but what really made them excited was the chase, so, naturally, they have to chase again.
#14 Their relationship history doesn’t exist.
They may have dated a couple people, but other than that, nothing. Not a single committed relationship that’s lasted longer than three months.
Now, if you’re nineteen, that’s not a big deal but if you’re in your late twenties, that’s a warning sign – a big one. Maybe they’re not serial cheaters, however, they have commitment issues.
15 Signs Of A Bad Relationship You Should Never, Ever Tolerate.
Bad relationships are all over the place. Chances are, you’ve been in one before. And if you don’t think you have, you could be in one right now. Since you’re here, you’re probably wondering what the signs of a bad relationship are so you can rule out your own.
I have bad news for you. If you’re reading this, you’re probably going through a rough time with your partner. While not all setbacks are an indication of a bad relationship, enough to make you want to research it could prove to be problematic.
Bad relationships affect far more than just your love life
They can make your entire life worse. Everything from your friendships to your career can suffer if you’re in a toxic relationship. Knowing the signs of one is a very powerful way you can take back control and prevent everything from going downhill.
Signs of a bad relationship to keep a lookout for
Nobody wants to be with someone who’s bad for them. We all want that incredible, fun love story we see all over social media. While those may not be completely accurate, they’re great goals to shoot for.
Wanting a healthy relationship is important. Recognizing that you’re not in one is also very valuable. If you truly want to know if your relationship is bad and unhealthy for both of you, here are the glaring signs of a bad relationship to watch out for.
#1 Lack of communication.
When you don’t talk to each other or worse, you CAN’T talk to each other, something is very, very wrong. In order for a relationship to be healthy, you have to be able to discuss everything. If you can’t even tell your partner when you’re upset, it’s not a good relationship.
#2 Insults – even if they’re just “jokes.”
It’s perfectly fine to tease and joke around with your significant other. It becomes a problem when those “jokes” are actually insulting and hurtful. You have to know what will cause your significant other pain.
And on the flip side, if they’re continuously insulting you and it’s actually making you upset, then you have to say something. If you can’t and this is a serious problem, it’s a sign of a bad relationship.
#3 Belittling each other in front of guests.
This can be difficult to determine simply because some people have a hard time figuring out where the line is between teasing and belittling. But if it’s blatant, then you have an awful relationship. Putting each other down should never be tolerated.
#4 Arguments with no resolution.
Fighting in relationships is perfectly fine. Obviously, if you’re fighting all the time, that’s not good. But arguing and then never actually talking about it is a major issue. You can’t bottle up those feelings. If you do, they’ll explode in the worst ways.
#5 Having make-up sex instead of talking.
If your arguments all end in the bedroom, you have an unhealthy relationship. It’s okay if you talk it out and make up BEFORE the sex, but using sex a means to solve your problems is as toxic as it gets.
#6 Your friends have told you it’s bad.
They know you best and they can tell when your behavior takes a dive for the worse. You really have to listen to them. It’s hard and you may be very defensive at first, but they care about you. Telling you the relationship is bad means it truly is.
#7 Your family doesn’t like them.
Most of your family members can tell if someone is treating you right just by how you act. If they have issues with the guy, it’s for a reason. Pay attention to your family and even ask them what they think. Some may not even be shy about telling you how they feel.
#8 Their family doesn’t like you.
Normally with bad relationships, both people are to blame. This may be evident with the way their family treats you. You might think you’re being great to them but if their family is showing you otherwise, it’s time to do some self-reflecting.
#9 Passive aggressive notes are left everywhere.
When your partner is leaving you notes all about the stuff they’re mad at you for, it’s not healthy. This is a very passive aggressive way of going about problem solving. When you can’t talk, the relationship is unhealthy.
#10 You don’t prioritize each other.
If you’re in a relationship, your partner should be your priority. Of course you have other things to worry about, but they should still be toward the top of the list. If you’re both ignoring each other and not respecting that prioritization, things will never be good for you.
#11 You hardly do nice things for one another.
In a healthy relationship, your goal is to always make each other happy. When you stop doing those things, something is wrong. You can’t be with someone if you don’t even want to do nice things for them.
#12 You don’t appreciate the stuff you actually do for each other.
When you actually do stuff that’s sweet and kind, neither of you appreciates when the other person does it. When you come to expect nice things and never acknowledge that they’re done, you’re not grateful. Being ungrateful is not healthy.
#13 You feel relieved when you get to be alone.
Now, a lot of people enjoy their alone time. But when you were just with your partner and are relieved when they finally leave, there’s an issue.
You should want to be around your significant other. Not wanting them around means you don’t like their company. If you don’t like their company, then why are you even together?
#14 You sometimes wish you weren’t together.
Even if you’re arguing, you should never feel like this in a healthy relationship. If you do, it’s one of the many signs of a bad relationship and you probably aren’t happy. When you feel this way more often than not, it’s trouble.
#15 You’re unhappy.
This should just be obvious, but some people need the reminder. If you’re not happy with your significant other, you shouldn’t be together. Forget about how long you’ve been with them or what anyone else would think if you split. Your happiness is of the utmost importance.
50 Characteristics of Healthy Relationships.
If you can say yes to most of these, it's very likely you're in a healthy relationship:
1. You can name your partner’s best friend and identify a positive quality that the person has.
2. You and your partner are playful with each other.
3. You think your partner has good ideas.
4. You’d like to become more like your partner, at least in some ways.
5. Even when you disagree, you can acknowledge your partner makes sensible points.
6. You think about each other when you’re not physically together.
7. You see your partner as trustworthy.
8. In relationship-relevant areas such as warmth and attractiveness, you view your partner a little bit more positively than they view themselves or than most other people view them.
9. You enjoy the ways your partner has changed and grown since you met.
10. Your partner is enthusiastic when something goes right for you.
11. When you reunite at the end of the day, you say something positive before you say something negative.
12. You reminisce about positive experiences you've had together in the past.
13. You can name one of your partner’s favorite books.
14. You know your partner’s aspirations in life.
15. You can recall something you did together that was new and challenging for both of you.
16. You kiss every day.
17. You’re comfortable telling your partner about things that make you feel vulnerable such as worries about getting laid off.
18. You have your own “love language” (pet names or special signs you give each other).
19. You know your partner’s most embarrassing moment from childhood.
20. You know your partner’s proudest moment from childhood.
21. You never, or very rarely, express contempt for your partner by rolling your eyes, swearing at them, or calling them crazy.
22. You can list some positive personality qualities your partner inherited from their parents.
23. If you have children together, you can list some positive personality qualities your partner has passed on to your children.
24. You enjoy supporting your partner’s exploration of personal goals and dreams, even when this involves you staying home.
25. You have a sense of security: You’re confident your partner wouldn’t be unfaithful, or do something to jeopardize your combined financial security.
26. When you argue, you still have a sense that your partner cares about your feelings and opinions.
27. Your partner lets you into their inner emotional world—they make their thoughts and feelings accessible to you.
28. You frequently express appreciation for each other.
29. You frequently express admiration for each other.
30. You feel a sense of being teammates with your partner.
31. You know your partner’s favorite song.
32. You have a sense that your individual strengths complement each other.
33. When you say goodbye in the morning, it’s mindful and affectionate.
34. If you’ve told your partner about trauma you’ve experienced, they’ve reacted kindly.
35. You don’t flat-out refuse to talk about topics that are important to your partner.
36. You respect your partner’s other relationships with family or friends, and view them as important.
37. You have fun together.
38. You see your partner’s flaws and weaknesses in specific rather than general ways. (For example, you get annoyed about them forgetting to pick up the towels, but you don’t generally see them as inconsiderate.)
39. You’re receptive to being influenced by your partner; you’ll try their suggestions.
40. You're physically affectionate with each other.
41. You enjoy spending time together.
42. You feel a zing when you think about how you first met.
43. You can name your partner's favorite relative.
44. You can name your partner's most beloved childhood pet.
45. You can articulate what your partner sees as the recipe for happiness.
46. When you feel stressed or upset, you turn toward your partner for comfort, rather than turning away from your partner and trying to deal with it yourself.
47. You have a sense that it's easy to get your partner's attention if you've got something important to say.
48. You like exploring your partner's body.
49. You can name your partner's favorite food.
50. If you could only take one person to a deserted island, you'd take your partner.
The 9 relationship stages that all couples experience.
Are you in a new relationship? Or are you in a seasoned relationship with someone you’ve been with for several years?
It doesn’t matter how long your relationship has lasted, because all the relationships will fit snugly in one of these relationship stages.
Find your own relationship stage here, and it’ll definitely help you understand your own love life better.
Stage #1 The infatuation stage.
This is the first stage in every relationship. It almost always starts with an intense attraction and an uncontrollable urge to be with each other. Both of you may be intensely sexually attracted to each other, or both of you may just love the cuddles and each other’s company. In this stage, both of you overlook any flaws of each other and only focus on the good sides.
Stage #2 The understanding stage.
In this stage, both of you start getting to know each other better. You have long conversations with your partner that stretches late into the night, and everything about your partner interests and fascinates you. You talk about each other’s families, exes, likes and dislikes and other innocent secrets, and life seems so beautiful and romantic.
Stage #3 The stage of disturbances.
This stage usually forces its way into a happy romance after a few months of blissful courting. Do you remember the first fight or angry disagreement you and your partner had? For the first time ever in the relationship, both of you confront each other over a conflict, even though it’s sorted out quickly.
Stage #4 The opinion maker. In this stage, both of you create opinions about each other. As the months pass by, both of you know what to expect from each other, and you make an assumption about your partner’s commitment towards the relationship.
When these opinions and expectations about your partner differ now and then in real life, it can either leave you ecstatic or depressed.
You don’t expect your man to buy you flowers, but he does. You feel ecstatic. At the same time, you expect him to pick you up from the airport on time. But he arrives an hour later because he forgot all about picking you up. It depresses you.
Stage #5 The moulding stage.
You have your own expectations from an ideal partner. And in this stage, both of you try hard to mould each other to fit your own wants in a perfect partner. This stage is a lot about give and take, and both partners constantly try to subtly convince each other to change their behavior towards the relationship. This is a power struggle, and one that can end the relationship if both partners are domineering.
Stage #6 The happy stage.
If the relationship survives past the moulding stage, both of you may have changed equally for each other and understood each other’s expectations. In this stage, the relationship cruises along perfectly and both of you may be blissfully happy with each other.
Almost always, this is the stage when both of you feel like a perfect match. You may even decide to get engaged or get married. This happy stage is also the stage of attachment when both of you truly feel connected to each other and love each other intensely.
Stage #7 The stage of doubts.
It’s been several years since both of you have been in a relationship with each other. And somewhere along the way, doubts start to creep in. The intensity of the doubts depend on how happy both of you are in the relationship.
You start to think of your past relationships, your exes, and other prospective partners. You tie your happiness in life with your relationship. If you’re unhappy, you blame it on the relationship.
In this stage, you start comparing your relationship with other couples and other relationships. Would your relationship survive this stage? It definitely could, as long as your relationship isn’t monotonous and repetitive.
Stage #8 The sexual exploration or bust stage.
This is the stage when your sex life starts to play a pivotal role. Both your sex drives may change or one of you may get disinterested in sex.
In this stage, you either give up on passionate sex or constantly look for ways to make sex more exciting. If sexual interests start differing here, one of you may end up having an affair. But on the other hand, if you find creative ways to make sex more exciting, your relationship could get better and bring both of you a lot closer.
Stage #9 The stage of complete trust.
This is the happy stage when both of you love each other and trust each other completely. But at the same time, the unbreakable trust in each other could also turn into taking each other for granted.
In this stage, both of you know the direction of the relationship and both of you are completely happy with each other and find it easy to predict each other’s behavior and decisions. But with stability in love comes the urge to take each other for granted. As pleasant as this final stage of love may be, it’s still no excuse to take each other lightly or stop appreciating each other, because love is an intense emotion that can be rekindled by anyone else at any time if you fail to express your romance to your lover.
If you’re in a relationship for a while, you may have experienced all or most of these relationship stages. And if you’re still in a young love, don’t let the dark side of these relationship stages scare you.
How To Love Yourself And Improve Relationships.
Does loving yourself improve relationships?
It should come as no surprise that there is a strong link between self-esteem and the health of our relationships. If you have a low sense of self-worth, that affects a lot of your behaviors, which in turn affect your connections with others.
Specifically, having little love for ourselves tends to make us more negative in general. Think about how you react when someone around you is negative about almost everything. In contrast, you probably prefer to be around people who are comfortable in their own skin.
Below are a few steps you can take to start implementing self-love in your life, whether you have low self-esteem or even too much of it. If you want to improve relationships with those closest to you, then I highly suggest you start here.
7. Affirm yourself.
A common symptom of low self-worth is constantly seeking affirmation and validation. You don’t believe that the things you do are good enough, so you obsess over seeking compliments from others. What you may not realize is that this really bothers people and can damage your relationships with friends, coworkers or a significant other.
Even if you are doing so with the best of intentions, people will typically view your behavior as “fishing for compliments” in order to suit your ego. That said, you need to take a look at everything you’ve accomplished and give yourself some credit. Otherwise, you can become susceptible (down the road) to social anxieties and even phobias that will make it nearly impossible for you to be assertive.
I know for me, I fear letting pride inhibit my ability to relate and connect genuinely with others. But it’s also important for us to recognize the good we’ve done and let it sink in. Once you start doing this regularly, you’ll find yourself being less reliant on the validation of others.
6. Serve others.
It may seem counterintuitive, but pouring yourself into other people is a form of sharing your love with them. Numerous studies have shown that acts of service and charity benefit the giver more than the receiver, at least in the sense of positive and emotional gains.
Developing a personality built on service translates to all of our relationships as a result. Being a dependable and giving friend fosters a relationship that is built on goodwill and loyalty. Even gestures in a romantic relationship fit into this paradigm, as they cultivate emotional benefits contributing to a larger motive (such as commitment).
5. Keep your eyes up.
One of the best ways to improve relationships (and communication) is to practice good posture and eye contact. When you slouch and look down, you are subconsciously communicating to yourself (and others) that you are being submissive to them. This is how someone is able to determine instantly whether or not they can a walk all over someone else. The result is that you aren’t respecting yourself, and you’re letting others disrespect you.
Displaying poise and self-discipline will lead to self-respect and confidence. If you start to make a habit out of this attitude, then you will start to build relationships with others that are on equal terms.
4. Exercise and eat healthy.
Love yourself by showing love to your body. Being fit physically makes us fit emotionally, improving our moods alongside our health. Going to the gym and eating right gives us energy and relieves stress. As a result, we feel good about ourselves, and these positive feelings carry over to the people who are around us.
3. Practice good hygiene.
In case you aren’t doing so already, start taking good care of your hygienic needs. Take showers every day, wash your clothes, iron them, wear deodorant and do all of the things your parents told you to do that you stopped doing when you moved out.
Seriously though, taking care of yourself is a form of natural survival and health, and it makes us more desirable to be around. If you’re unsure whether or not you’re practicing good hygiene, ask someone who will give you an honest and objective opinion. Like your parents!
2. Create something.
Whether you’re a painter, writer, movie director, trapeze artist, construction worker or professional singer, creating something that is wholly yours is self-love. You don’t have to literally create something out of thin air; it’s as easy as doing something you love to do better than everyone else. That sense of accomplishment and pride in your work plays a huge part in personal growth and maturity.
Producing things, whether they be for work or art, shapes into a person who has something valuable to offer to others. As you can imagine, this makes you a person that attracts people.
It’s difficult to admit, but our relationships with others are conditional to a point. We favor those who enrich our lives. You can be that person if you start putting in the effort necessary to create something no one else has.
1. Be self-aware.
Start looking at yourself as a whole and identify your strengths, as well as your weaknesses. If you happen to have a lot of confidence, you may be inclined to gloss over the things you say and do that alienate others. But if you start to learn more about yourself, such as how you come off to others and what you instinctively say in certain situations, you’ll start to gain a self-awareness that will further your appreciation for yourself, as well as the people around you.
Recognize the things about you that are different and unique. Accept them and consider them a benefit because you are “you” due to these quirks. If you’re a little weird, don’t feel bad about it. Embrace the weirdness.
Self-awareness leads to other strong concepts that facilitate having a “whole” being, such as integrity. Being honest and consistent shows that you love yourself enough to be real with others, and this is easily the best way to avoid needless conflicts that would otherwise inhibit a strong relationship with someone close to you.
To sum up, loving yourself is about accepting who you are and what you can strive to be. You don’t have to be complacent about becoming a better person, but you also don’t have to set unrealistic goals for yourself that will never get done. Once you’re at a place where you love yourself, only then are you ready to start giving everyone else more reasons than ever to love you too.
Relationships are perhaps the most important part of our lives, bringing much meaning and happiness. When we reach the end of our lives and look back, it is usually the connections we have formed with others that we remember and define ourselves with.
Good relationships are something we all strive for. They can provide love, support, happiness, friendship, advice and guidance. However, if they break down they can cause problems and upset - it is during these times that relationship advice is sought.
People may seek relationship advice for a number of reasons, and though commonly thought to only involve intimate connections, there are many types of connections that may benefit from help:
- family members
- married couples
- sexual partnerships
Who needs relationship advice?
The term 'relationship' is commonly perceived as describing intimate connections with a partner or spouse. Similarly, 'relationship help' is usually associated with those in a relationship. However, the term covers any connection between two or more people - we make connections with people through all walks of life, whether they are quick meetings or lifetime associations.
These connections usually refer to the relationship between two people, but it can mean the connection between many. For example, the leader of a country needs a strong relationship with their people and a teacher needs a connection with their students.
Any form of relationship can break down. If a team, or two people, cannot work together, they will in time suffer relationship problems and the dynamic of the connection will begin to fail. Relationship coaching is open to, and may be needed by anyone struggling to build strong connections.
This is where this guide come's in ...here to help with different issues and struggles!
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